


And so it begins.

by trashmikkelsen (eyesofchinablue)



Category: Ylvis
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Kittens, Mild Language, ylvis - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-12
Updated: 2014-07-12
Packaged: 2018-02-08 11:58:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1940199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eyesofchinablue/pseuds/trashmikkelsen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I got a prompt from someone on tumblr, and they asked for the boys finding kittens in the office, so I complied.<br/>This is my first Ylvis fic, so apologies for, well, everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And so it begins.

Vegard shoved his hand against the door and pushed. He sighed absently, and pulled his scarf from his neck before dropping it, and his bag, to the ground. The office was quiet and cold. The heater hadn’t kicked in, and he rubbed his hands together for warmth as he moved through the room towards the kitchen area.

He grabbed a mug and placed it on the counter with a clang, clearing his throat as he flipped the switch on the wall. The water within the kettle began to boil and splutter, and Vegard spooned coffee lazily from the jar to the mug.

He stopped suddenly. A faint noise echoed from the back room. He frowned and switched the kettle off. For a few moments he stood silent, straining his ears for the sound again. It was gone. Vegard shrugged and poured the half-boiled water into the mug, dragging it across the counter, and up, and away to the fridge.

Again the noise sounded, and he placed his mug, and went to investigate; leaving the fridge door ajar. He peeked in, expecting to find a rusted radiator whistling in the corner in its attempt to heat the room, but instead saw a small cardboard box sitting on a low table. Confusion building, Vegard approached it and carefully lifted the lid. There were shuffles and squirming coming from inside, and upon seeing the contents he blinked, eyebrows raised.

“What?…” His words trailed off as he heard the swing and bang of the main doors. He started slightly at the sound of his name.

“Vegard?” It was Bård. “Vegard.”

He listened to his brother’s footsteps as they padded to the kitchen and stopped. “Why is the fridge open?”

“I, uhm..” Vegard looked to the box, to the door, and back to the box. “I was just making coffee.”

He heard the fridge door slam as Bård appeared and leant against the frame, “Well you’re fucking old ass forgot to close the fridge.” He stood there expectantly, and when Vegard didn’t respond, he continued. “What are you doing?”

Vegard stuttered, fingers fumbling with the open lid behind his back, “Nothing, everything’s fine.”

“Why are you in here anyway? The heater doesn’t work, and the lighting is shit. Come on, I wanna’ go through the-“

It was then that the box chose to betray Vegard’s cover and began to shuffle again. Vegard winced and squeezed the flap of the cardboard. Bård stepped in curiously and attempted to reach around him.

“No.” He uttered, grabbing Bård’s sleeve. He pulled him back and shook his head, “It’s just some old stuff I found.”

“It made a noise.” Bård retorted, trying again to see inside the box.

“Toys!” Vegard exclaimed, blocking his brother. “Old toys. It’s not important. What did you want to show me?”

Bård eyed him suspiciously before giving a slow nod. “Okay, fine. After you then.” He gestured, allowing Vegard to move forward. The moment he was far enough away from the box, Bård leapt and pushed him aside to get to it. “You always fall for that.”

Vegard scrambled for his brother and failed as Bård lifted the lid and peered inside. “What?”

“Wait-“

“Why did you bring a box of kittens to the office? Who the fuck brings kittens to an office?” He asked.

Vegard shoved his brother aside, “Oh, so you think they’re mine?”

“You’re the only one here, Vegard. They didn’t appear out of nowhere.”

They stood and stared at each other. Vegard swayed a little and rested his hand on the lid. He peered down at the tiny balls of fur mewing and reached down for one.

“They’re kinda’ cute. ” He said, gently holding it up in his hands, “Look at him.”

Bård stepped back as Vegard came forward, “No, come on. Put it back and I’ll call the animal people, so they can get them out of here before the others show up.”

“What, are you afraid of it?” Vegard teased, “Just stroke it a minute.” He advanced his brother until he was backed into the corner. “Come on Bård, just hold one. They’re adorable, look.”

He forced the kitten into Bård’s hands and watched as he held it awkwardly, trying not to drop it. “Now what?” Bård frowned. Vegard ignored him and went back. Taking the remaining two in his arms, he moved to the sofa in the adjacent room. Bård followed, still clutching his own.

They sat there, not saying anything, the small animals tripping over their thighs and clawing at their clothes. Vegard smiled as he retrieved a wayward kitten from falling off the edge, before placing it back on Bård’s lap. He flinched and grimaced at it, inching away from him.

“Okay, enough. I’m calling the people.”

“Ugh, just a little longer?” Vegard asked. Bård slumped back into the sofa and huffed, again pushing the little furry menaces away. Vegard lifted one to his face and nuzzled its nose with his own, babbling incessantly as the kitten mewed back.

Bård rolled his eyes, “Oh my God.”

Vegard lowered the kitten and turned to him. “What?”

“Are you serious right now?” He replied, “Next you’ll say you wanna’ keep the things.”

Suddenly something sparked in the back of Vegard’s mind, and he looked up and faced his brother. Bård glanced at him, and raised an eyebrow. Vegard bowed his head a little and did the same.

“No.”

“You suggested it." He began, "There’s only three of them. Lots of places have offices cats.”

“Office cats? Vegard.“ Bård sighed.

“Come on, what’s the damage?”

Bård rose from the sofa and started to tap his fingers. “For one, this building doesn’t allow animals. Two, this building does not allow animals. And three, cats are pointless.”

“The building doesn’t allow big animals. And what does that even mean, cats are pointless?” Vegard scoffed. Bård mocked Vegard and started to pace.

“They jump all over stuff, and they shed everywhere, and they piss on everything. It’s fucking ridiculous.”

Vegard stood, scooped up the other two kittens, and held them out to Bård, “We’ll get a litter box, it’ll be fine.” He nodded to the kittens, “Look at them, Bård. They’re adorable.”

“No, we’re not having fucking office cats. If you want them so bad, take them home.” Bård stated.

“You know I can’t, Helene’s allergic. Stop being such a damn grouch and get over your cat hate.” Vegard argued, “We’re keeping the kittens.”

Bård snatched the kittens from his brother’s hands. “No.” He walked back to the room and placed them in the box. Vegard trailed after him and took the box before he could put them in.

“What are you five? Put the box back.” Vegard shook his head. “Put the box back!”

“No, we’re keeping the kittens. I’m the oldest.” He protested. Bård scrambled to keep all three kittens together in his arms. He swore under his breath when one got caught on his sleeve.

“Yeah, well you’re acting like a five year old. I’m the oldest. Can I at least put them down?“ He asked. After pleading twice, Vegard put the box back down and Bård shrugged the cats off himself.

“I’m covered in hair.” Bård moaned. “And this shirt is ruined now. Look at that snag.”

“There’s like two hairs, and your shirt is fine. We’re keeping the kittens.”

“There is no winning with you.” He sighed, pursing his lips. “You know what? Fine. Fine, keep the damn kittens. I don’t care.”

Vegard smiled, “Really?”

“You changed your mind?”

“Yeah, no. Good.” He replied, picking the box up and taking it back to the sofa. Bård followed and leant on the door to the kitchen.

“You’re not getting any help with them. You’re on your own.” Bård said.

Vegard looked down at his new pets and grinned, "Whatever, I don't need your shitty parenting skills."

Bård clutched his chest. "Ouch, brother." He turned into the kitchen and flipped the switch on the kettle. "What're you gonna' call you're little furballs?" He shouted.

Vegard entered the kitchen and opened the fridge, took the milk, and closed it again. He grabbed a bowl from the high cupboard and poured the milk half way.

"I was thinking Bård. For all of them." He mused. Noticing his discarded coffee, Vegard poured a little into the mug. Bård snatched the milk from Vegard's hand and placed it back on the counter. Vegard took the coffee to his lips and sipped. He frowned and poured the cold coffee into the sink.

"And I hate you." Bård quipped.

Vegard took the bowl and went back to the sofa. He placed the bowl carefully on the ground and knelt down, gently taking each kitten from the box and placing them by the bowl. He then took the blanket out and splayed it out. Already one of them had wriggled away, heading towards the kitchen. At the same time Bård was coming the other way, hot mug in hand.

Vegard looked up, "Watch out for the-"

"Jesus!?" Bård cried, coffee splashing over his hand and the floor. "Are you kidding me?"

"Is he okay?"

"Is he okay?" Bård mimicked, "My arm's fine by the way. If you're wondering at all."

Vegard made a face and brought the kitten back to the bowl. "Just be careful." He replied.

Bård returned to the kitchen and turned the faucet on the sink. Rolling his sleeve, he held his arm under the cold water and let his head roll back. "Fucking office cats." He muttered.

He heard the main doors open and shut, and then a voice; "Kittens?" He closed his eyes and let out a resigned breath.

"And so it begins."


End file.
